ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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