"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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