you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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