so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
