Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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