She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
