Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
