so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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