Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't deserve a penis
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize