You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
