Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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