making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize