Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
