I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
