i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize