just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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