tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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