Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize