should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
