As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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