Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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