4 words: hood of his car
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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