i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
