Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
