i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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