apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So much rum. So many feels.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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