dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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