Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
