Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize