May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
