whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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