i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
