You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
