hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
