oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
