Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
