i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
