they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My vagina just clenched in fear
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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