I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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