I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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