i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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