you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
