How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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