He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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