Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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