Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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