operation harelip BJ is a go
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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