my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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