I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
