I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
