She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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