So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
