i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
