I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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