the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
