i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
