I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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