My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
